MILLIONS OF AMERICANS FEARED THE WORST about the second coming of Donald J. Trump, yet no one—absolutely no one—expected this. The level of chaos, confusion, incompetence, and sheer unvarnished cruelty, it’s safe to say, has exceeded all expectations. As Trump’s approval ratings plunge and his lunacy levels fly off the charts, it’s getting gosh-darn hard to keep up. Perhaps this quiz can help sort things out. Consult the footnotes for answers.
A. Pardon the hooligans who ransacked the U.S. Capitol on January 6th
B. “End inflation and make America affordable again”
C. Let Robert F. Kennedy Jr. “go wild on health”
D. End the Russia–Ukraine war in “twenty-four hours”
E. Quickly end the war in Gaza
F. Be a dictator
Insult:
A. “He used to be Jewish. He’s not Jewish anymore. He’s a Palestinian.”
B. “She’s a bad, sick woman. She’s crazy as a bedbug.”
C. “I don’t want to [deport him]. I’ll leave him alone. He’s got enough problems with his wife. She’s terrible.”
D. “She’s a fake. . . . She’s a nasty woman. She’s a really nasty woman.”
E. “A major loser” whose “termination cannot come fast enough.”
F: “You have no credibility.”
Recipient:
1. Senator Elizabeth Warren, Democrat of Massachusetts
2. Senator Chuck Schumer, Democrat of New York
3. Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell
4. Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi
5. CNN reporter Kaitlan Collins
6. Prince Harry
A. “If you come to our country illegally, this is one of the consequences you could face.”
B. “First of all, do not come to our country illegally. You will be removed and you will be prosecuted. But know that this facility is one of the tools in our toolkit that we will use if you commit crimes against the American people.”
C. “This unprecedented relationship we have with El Salvador is going to be a model for other countries on how they can work with America.”
D. “We have made every effort to ensure that the people we are sending off to foreign prisons for probably the rest of their lives have been afforded due process.”
A. Presidential adviser Stephen Miller
B. U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green
C. White nationalist Nick Fuentes
D. The QAnon shaman
A. “Bitcoin Jesus”
B. “Dr. Ambrosia”
C. “Cyber Assassin II”
D. “Wildly Corrupt Steve”
A. Former President Barack Obama
B. Former President Joe Biden
C. Former Senator and presidential contender Kamala Harris
D. Former White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci
E. Elon Musk
A. Making Trump’s birthday (June 14) a federal holiday
B. Renaming Dulles International Airport after Trump
C. Requiring that Trump’s image be on all $100 bills
D. Nominating Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize
E. Adding Trump’s visage to Mount Rushmore
F. Allowing Trump to run for a third term
G: Renaming the Earth “Planet Trump”
A. An American flag
B. A gold pin in the shape of Trump’s head
C. A pink ribbon symbolizing breast cancer awareness
D. An eagle snatching up a screaming Elizabeth Warren
A. ABC News agreed to donate $15 million for the future Trump presidential library to settle a clearly specious defamation lawsuit.
B. Meta agreed to pay $25 million, most of it for the Trump library, to settle a lawsuit over kicking Trump off social media platforms for breaking the rules.
C. Columbia University agreed to ban face masks on campus, expand the authority of campus security, and put an entire department into academic receivership (presumably to ensure it teaches only what Trump wants).
D. Harvard agreed to Trump’s demands that it change how the university makes admissions, hiring, and governance decisions, including the eradication of diversity, equality, and inclusion, or else face the loss of nearly $9 billion in federal grants and contracts.
E. The law firm Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison agreed to provide Trump with $40 million in free legal service in response to his threat to revoke its security clearances.
Statement:
A. “Trump’s team continues to correspond with their Chinese counterparts. The president remains optimistic about securing a fair trade deal with China.”
B. “Any claims about progress in China–U.S. economic and trade negotiations are baseless rumors without factual evidence.”
C. “You have to understand, I’m dealing with all the companies, very friendly countries. We’re meeting with China. We’re doing fine with everybody. But ultimately, I’ve made all the deals. . . . I’ve made 200 deals.”
D. “China and the US are NOT having any consultation or negotiation on #tariffs. The US should stop creating confusion.”
Speaker:
1. China commerce ministry spokesman He Yadong
2. White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt
3. Chinese embassy in Washington
4. President Donald Trump
A. A pancake in a can!
B. An advocate for unification of Panama and Canada
C. A Republican practitioner of the doctrine of pantheism
D. Donald Trump’s term for the “Weak” and “Stupid” people who doubt his genius on tariffs
A. Tax breaks for billionaires
B. Having federal agents come into your home to kill your puppy
C. The Black Plague, a medieval pandemic that killed millions of people
D. Eric Trump
Great Job Bill Lueders & the Team @ The Bulwark Source link for sharing this story.
